The Ninth Street Center

Is romance important?

A romance has all the characteristics of an entire life. It begins with a rush of new feelings and sensations that, because of their uniqueness, cannot be pigeon-holed into old categories. Both life and romance, therefore, demand our full attention. When a romance begins, there is no way to tell where it will end or what it will achieve. Its importance lies in the sheer fact that we desire the fulfillment it promises.

Life is important for living creatures because without it there is nothing. Romance is important for people in love because the thought of losing it makes them inconsolable. Both spheres require commitment and sacrifice. Commitment so we can learn as much as possible no matter what the outcome, sacrifice so we can feel in our bowels the tangible value of what we have been given.

The importance of life and romance are so supreme that they require the supreme sacrifice: that we learn and grow, giving up the false beliefs and wrong ways that guided us in the past — and that we regard those moments when we see clearly our own ignorance and incompetence as helpful moments, not moments to be kept secret and buried under the rug. Only those who have truly lived and loved know the value of opening up to new insights and new skills, as difficult as they may be to learn and as controversial they may be to the slower learners around us. Only a person who has allowed life or romance to truly transform them in this way can appreciate the importance of asking challenging questions or regularly exercising trial and error methods.

Romance has done far more than ivory-tower intellects to drive the development of science and elaboration of engineering skills in their human applications. For unless we passionately care about other human beings, why bother changing the world?